I chose to analyze the article "Massive search targets woods, river in South Putnam for missing girl." This piece was published by the Palatka Daily News, which happens to be my hometown newspaper. After reading this article, I was left with many unanswered questions.
My first question was, who and where is the mother? I think at least some mention should have been made of her. Also, some light could have been shed on the family relationships.
Secondly, I wondered, why is no picture included in the article? Also, why is there no description of what the child was wearing when last seen? The only description we get of the child is she is 5 years old and has blonde hair. That is a vague description, at best.
Third, I thought, where was the brother during the abduction? Buried in the story, the writer tells us that the 4-year-old brother was "also" in the home "Tuesday night." I assume the writer meant Monday night or Tuesday morning, because the alleged abduction took place early Tuesday morning. This is a serious mistake. Other questions that came to my mind were, was the brother in the same room with the girl and why was he mentioned so briefly? The reader should not only understand the information given, but also why it is relevant to the story.
My last questions were, when did the girl go to bed and what transpired before she was found missing? I wanted to read a simple timeline of how the night went. Also, how old is the father and girlfriend? I'm not sure if that's important or not, but it's definitely details that should be included if possible. Finally, are there any suspects?
My problem with this story was there were simply too many questions in my mind AFTER I finished the reading the article. Also, I felt like I needed to go back home to Palatka and hire a fact checker at the Daily News myself.
After having my mind boggled by the Daily News' story, I read the same story on CNN. The article "Girl, 5, likely taken from Florida home, police say" explained the story in better language and gave much more information. All of my questions were answered, except the age of the father. In addition, I was able to read the text of the 911 call. Above all, I found no mistakes in the facts of the CNN story.
The article starts out with really good word choice, but then I get lost. I think that the reporter just took all the quotes he got from people involved were put right into the story.
ReplyDeleteThere really isn't enough information about the child either. That is terrible not to include a picture or at least a very detailed discription in case someone has seen her!
Very good editing points Kathy. The newspaper story is horribly written and leaves way too many questions unanswered. I feel confident that if you were the editor of this story, you wouldn't let that happen.
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